In a Very Good Mood

And here’s why:

  • Productively did the laundry and the dishes, vacuumed the whole flat and made it smells like roses.
  • Finished unpacking and tidied up the wardrobe dresser.
  • Finalised an interview schedule.
  • Found a drugstore Japanese moisturiser that hydrates my dehydrated skin and makes it look dewy, instead of oily. (bless you, DHC Deep Hyaluronic Acid Collagen Toner Moisture Lotion)

Two Sides of a Coin

In a long, quiet journey, my thoughts came back to me, as if they’re always there around the corner, but afraid. Scared by the belief that I might suffer from them. I know it is sort of strange. They are always such a kind observer. The world seems so different and distant, and they were curious of it. No answers could be found yet because it expands infinitely, but now they want to be home laying their bodies on fresh clean sheets, smelling coffee in the morning, and seeing familiar landscape.

I welcomed them with soft tunes playing from the small, cheap speakers. I offered them tea, asked them to smoke with me, to keep me company. I did not ask them to stay, and then they were leaving, so soon. They will observe me, watch my back, they said. You will have the other long quiet journey, they said, when they will try to visit. But do not try to invite, they said, for we will not come.

Now they are gone. The house is now empty but I can still feel their sticky presents remain and it leaves me tranquillized. I will miss them, I think, while staring through the window at the weak movements of the grass outside. As for now I can only rest, as if nothing out of the ordinary happened this afternoon.

I feel sorry for being detached from them. Too focused in reality, too lost in attempts to find, forgetting that they are is what I was.

I am is merely a media and they are is what I always miss.

They are, is what I am still not ready to be.

A Love Letter to a Very Special Friend

Compatibility* flows like every drops of waterfall attracted by the force of gravity.
So powerful, yet smooth as silk and effortless that we both believed we’re meant to be soul mate even before our first get-together.

I can’t always express my feelings well, so on the assumption that you don’t know, you are so significantly exceptional for my uncanny taste of life and I am planning to treasure* you, my (no longer) imaginary friend.

And that’s a truth I spoke dearly.


*before you reader judge me further for being such a hopeless romantic, I’m not talking about my significant other (although yes, my love for him is still growing bigger than the universe)

**like other, and no other

Good or Bad, Happy or Sad, Merry Triennial

Even though I still believe in true love and once thought I only would fall in love real deep for once in my life and live happily ever after until death do us part, it still amazes me how at times my thoughts, fears, and loves want to burst out screaming that they cannot take the pressures and heats no longer, for no amount of measures could represent how much I love you.

Hopes and dreams ache my body.
Uncertainties and memories, hate my guts and only want to suffer me to their hearts’ content.

Tell me how to stop feeling sad every time I feel so happy for I know that predetermined course of everything is not forever, that makes everything painstakingly beautiful because we will not know how this will end.

At least, we are still here.
Overjoyed, aren’t we?