Googly, Googly, Googly, Begone

To what I must yell, if I’m not given any ear to hear.

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Au Revoir, the Show is Over

What if I’m finally tired of always trying to always be perfect?

What if all I want is just to be accepted of who I really am, and regardless of all the idiosyncrasies I’ve done, you would never going to leave me?

I’m so fucking tired. And one shoulder to rest, and cry, and whine for every tiring day living this fucked up world is all I need.

But it would be too selfish, wouldn’t it?

Yes, I Do

I like to feel his eyes on me when I looked away

— Celine, “Before Sunrise“. I am re-watching this movie tonight for the sake of having nothing to do, and because my plan to re-watch “Amélie” has failed. To tell the truth, I don’t fancy Celine too much. I love her physically, but there’s something in her that I don’t like for something I cannot explain. Oh well I’ve never been good at explaining anything, though. But she said this quote appropriately, no?

Oxford Comma Dream and Her Death that Saddens Me, to Know I Have High Tolerance for Almost Everything

My mind speaks too much and left so little for the tongue. That I feel like exploding and expressed it in a dream but none came out in reality for anyone to see and understand. Talking to a self-reflection on the mirror or pretending that someone’s there doesn’t help.

Because I’m always weird. To define myself that I’m always weird and always confused just like that.

Log

15/06/11
I’m too random most of the time I get mad to myself.

22/06/11
Being easily offended is a trait.

26/06/11
I am always naïve.

29/06/11
I can’t please everyone. I no longer want to please everyone.

09/07/11
I love nostalgic things but fuck I’m such a forgetful person.

13/07/11
Blank like a paper. Bewildered.

14/07/11
That I am stricken and can’t let you go.

16/07/11
It’s still a long way to go for me to be a lesbian. WTF?

18/07/11
I hope I’ll never appreciate you less. It’s the scariest thing ever.

18/07/11
I hate being praised.

19/07/11
Tom Wisdom, Nick Simmons. Swear to God they’re really hot.

19/07/11
At one side I know I’m being unbelievably crazy. At the other side I no longer want to hold back.
If somebody is the one, the sooner he knows the worst, the better. I’m so bad I secretly will never fulfill any expectation of me.

24/07/11
I have crazy life. I know everybody does. But mine’s insane. A little bit too insane.

28/07/11
Hoping somebody to read your mind is always too much to ask.

30/07/11
When even the low is the highest.