Coming Up Expectation

Am I not supposed to act mature because I will no longer be teen, and got to use this short remaining time to drain all the useless emotion I shouldn’t feel when I’m 20?

Or am I supposed to act mature because I will no longer be teen, in order to get ready to be left alone with responsibilities for self when I’m 20? While that only if I care that much not to get bad opinion whenever I act arbitrarily, of which that I used to give to people who have trouble with controlling their emotions, behind their curtains of course, that I only shared with myself or the dearest people who brilliant (or pengangguran) enough to read my mind.

I need to call this into question because suddenly I feel like 6 again, with the unusual languishing for this one presence, that I cannot help but to cry every time we talked on phone, that it kills me not to hear any news from the presence, and even to have thoughts that we’re apart could shed me some tears before I fall asleep at night. The presence used to be my old man when he worked outside the city, but time passes and life changes, I don’t love daughterly no more but youthly crammed unusual fondness of mi amor.