Emo
Posted: December 29, 2011 Filed under: Brainhurricane, Self-Sentiment Leave a comment »I am at home and I feel so blissfully content. My stomach is always full, I get to smoke once a day with slick moves while my mom is sleeping and my dad is busy watching tv and my big brother is out there in Jakarta working his ass off and my little brother out from home since morning to spend time with his girlfriend.
I want to listen as much nice music as possible at once, one through my left ear, one through my right, through my nostrils, if possible, through my eyes and mouth, if possible, through every air I breathe, if possible. While reading all the unfinished books I started to read last year, finish them all at once without missing any single word, even the most unimportant, like dots.
All for the sake for my brain to stop thinking about useless things, that only bring shallow void grief. And for the sake of my overtook attempt so I don’t get left behind.
Uh I so fucking hate being lagged.
I hate to feel stupid and useless and helpless. Makes me just want to sleep. And die peacefully.
Oxford Comma Dream and Her Death that Saddens Me, to Know I Have High Tolerance for Almost Everything
Posted: August 9, 2011 Filed under: Brainhurricane, Self-Sentiment Leave a comment »My mind speaks too much and left so little for the tongue. That I feel like exploding and expressed it in a dream but none came out in reality for anyone to see and understand. Talking to a self-reflection on the mirror or pretending that someone’s there doesn’t help.
Because I’m always weird. To define myself that I’m always weird and always confused just like that.
Everyone Always Looks Hotter with Long and Messy Hair
Posted: June 28, 2011 Filed under: Brainhurricane, Live Report, Self-Sentiment Leave a comment »Oh my God. I. Can’t. Stop. Why, of course I can, but I’m not an idiot.
It’s like at some point that I can’t remember when, I didn’t realize I have consumed one too many NZT. Information, news, responds, ideas, all of them move oh-so-fast that it makes me panic that it will go futile. Hiding themselves or even runaway forever from me that I can no longer remember I ever have them. And again, the notes application in my cellphone saves the day, gives me a helping hand (but I guess those are my own hands), records them all before night slumber get an opportunity to spoiled me and muffed all the activities inside my brain cells, while my shitty senile laptop was never the one that I can count on anytime.
It’s not like I don’t know the composition of my NZT. Great significant other, swift academic life, supportive family, best friends, high self-esteem. But how one could dare hoping situation this perfect will last a long time? Better learn to type faster, and aim for the highest before I grow old, indolent, weary, and forgetful.
Symbian for the win!
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the, uhh, Past
Posted: June 16, 2011 Filed under: Brainhurricane, Heartlock, Self-Sentiment Leave a comment »Actually it was never that bad, or was it, if from the very first time I prepared myself about the oily part, and the watery part, and the stirring part, and the useless part; which I, fortunately, actually did; this is nothing but nonsense, but I wonder if all lass are such a sadist to themselves, making thoughts that supposed to be expired, appearing useless anxiety, it’s all in the mind, you know, or in the past, which couldn’t scratch you if you never knew, or, never eager to know, what about it is interesting and all yes of course it is if it’s not affecting that much part of your life, moron, or what you think your life is at this moment, and pardon, not that it was our choice, but it was great in its own way though, bravo, oh my God it feels so weird, and you’re really weird too I like you so, no kidding, what is it with the most adorable smile; how I hope it’s full of love and sincerity; I’ve never seen before and how it is eased me, a joy to my eyes, I would like to say ‘will you please just stop’ but that, monsieur, would be a lie, which brings me back to square one and I need to remind myself about the oily part, the watery part, the stirring part, and the useless part, though put into a nice glass and it will be close than any other, plus looks pretty together (not respectively), yin and yang, of course, yin and yang, the balance of life, yes it’s normal, it’s very pleasing, sometimes, it’s very bothersome, sometimes, but it’s completely normal, and without doubt, for just a little moment, occasionally, I, fucking need, to shut my mind.
Whimsicalities
Posted: May 29, 2011 Filed under: Brainhurricane, Self-Sentiment Leave a comment »There’s this thought, there’s that thought.
It’s no matter of not finding someone to talk, if the trouble is the attempt to stake out.
So Juicy I Could Die
Posted: November 4, 2010 Filed under: Brainhurricane, The Life's 2 Comments »What should we do, when we finally realize that being ourselves is just never enough?
Should we increase our quality to fulfill other’s demand?
Or should we be careless, and just go on with life as it was used to be dreary? Coincidentally be unaware of the missing glances, the absence of interest, and go back to the state when you were no one, in stillness.
We should and we shouldn’t,
to be careless, because we can and we can’t.
Both meant to be eternally happened at the same time.
It is just…. Limelight’s a black hole sucking the youth’s core.
My core.
Ours.
A Scheme, A Scheme!
Posted: October 6, 2010 Filed under: Brainhurricane, The Life's Leave a comment »Ethical or non-ethical, only based on feelings and cultural subjective opinion.
Somehow it is confusing to decide what is best, which is right, or what to do, knowing that there is no such thing as universal righteousness, where every single person has the same view and got nothing against it. Even people with the same belief admitted of inflicting conflict to each other, so how can we (or me) expect to unite 7 million stubborn self-centered minds into peace?
You know, it is related to naïve will to do something to fulfill your own wish but at the same time still not failing to keep other people amused, or inversely, please other people without sacrificing self interest. Really hard, that I can see, still I can’t help but be amazingly stupid that I believe it is possible.
Jealousy started this issue. Conscience prevents it to evolve to a Tyrannosaurus-Rex, that surely crush anything in its way.
Should we be saint? Do we really want to be saint? Well sometimes conscience gone, patience has met its limit, and without you realizing, you have become the crazy schmuck that you always hated.
Offer You Some Compensations
Posted: October 3, 2010 Filed under: Brainhurricane | Tags: Female, God 4 Comments »God knows how hard it is to be female, all fragile and unbelievably sensitive.
What a bummer.
Maybe that is why, in Quran, He tells us the feminist that we ought to do much less simple things rather than men to get to heaven. O how considerate of You, dear true definition of love.
Answers Will Be Gladly Accepted
Posted: September 10, 2010 Filed under: Brainhurricane, Heartlock 1 Comment »Does it called cheating when you keep reminiscing your past relationship?
Does it makes you less faithful that you keep thoughts you know inappropriate yet you still think about it often enough?
Do you can endure being in a relationship of which you know your lover still revere his/her past lover so much?
Are you selfish enough to compare this person to others while you can’t stand the idea of you being compared to other people?
Then..
How much time do you think you need to start a brand new relationship, completely untrammeled from the past, the impossible-to-forget past where you used to put all of your faith in those moments, which the faith is the very sincere one with no hesitation of making the moments to last forever?
And knowing that there’s no way you can go back to the past,
how much time do you think you need to have the courage and be strong enough to start all over again, with completely different significant other?
South Korea Kind of Thing
Posted: June 27, 2010 Filed under: Brainhurricane Leave a comment »
While doing the after-bath activity that most girls usually do, a random thought come into my view.
I found that an attempt to make yourself look prettier has a significant difference with an attempt to NOT make yourself look uglier. Example gratia : inseminating your skin with chemical substance in order to make it looks whiter is completely different to dabbing your skin daily with aromatic lotion to prevent the dry air and UV light from bitting into it (based on my observation, lotion never change the true color of your skin, so do not trust their advertisement, my fellow lass). The epitome may not be that radical, though, as putting on some make-ups is completely different to using moisturizer and lip-care. Yea, those certain kinds of case.
I basically know which way do I treat my body with from two options above. How about you there?
They Say So