Self-Esteem Syringe

Lots of stalking, and admiring, and dreaming, and thinking.
I am draineeeeeeeeed. And drowsy.

So what’s been preoccupying me this night is a girl, so my friend said look a hell lot like me (remember my past post? Fuck yeah, it’s still happening) of which I didn’t really buy her ‘hell lot’ until she showed me the picture of the girl, and in no time I startled. My friend’s not kidding, man. Haha. Only this particular girl looks a lot prettier, and her being one of the contestant in one well-known beauty pageant means she really knows how to pamper herself, while here I am almost all the time getting the insults from my friends and boyfriend (yes! He criticized me a lot!) of having no sense in fashion. Already getting accustomed to it, though yes, I would like to know that there’s someone out there who is willing to be my  personal fashion stylist, have to be a great one, who is not just heartlessly hurts my feeling by saying that I’m suck at these things..

Hahaha. Kidding. Not that I care that much about the way I look to the point of my feelings can be hurted by others’ critics of it.

Do I feel threatened about her presence? Oh no, of course not. The feeling is more like.. God is trying to flatter me, when all of this time I was thinking I am gifted with such a weird look, then puff! He gave another me in a presence with more possibilities to look amazing.

That is enough satisfaction. And what is the point in being amazingly beautiful, though? In their beauty they’re probably suffering, yet they are blessings from God, for without them I don’t really know how to indulge my eyes and fulfill my thirst of beauty.

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