ITB i love you but you’re driving me crazy

dari judulnya sudah jelas.

kuliah mulai, osjur mulai, kesibukan unit mulai. mau online pun malasnya minta ampun. ditambah lagi pengganti heroine belom ketemu.

despite the fact that i am this kind of person who suppose to behave gently, the lips of mine really desperate to scream those swearing words. the rudest one. not one. A LOT.

wish that my iPod was here, everything’s gonna be alrite. sigh. how i love the way music is destroying my ear.

I’m a Total Disaster

hmmm. really, at this typing moment i am trying REALLY hard to be calm. tadi siang saya menghilangkan iPod kesayangan saya, Heroine. SUMPAH YANG BEGINIAN BARU BISA BIKIN HATI GALAU, bukan perkara cinta-cinta an, bukan masalah akademis, bukan mengenai makna hidup, tapi HEROINE.

hilangnya kemungkinan besar sih diambil orang dan karena kebodohan sendiri. yah kronologisnya tak perlulah ya dijelaskan karena sungguh malas mau diingat-ingat lagi. haha tapi lucu aja soalnya tadi abis iPod ilang diambil orang saya masih bisa asik ketawa-ketawa bercanda ria dan setelah pulang ke rumah baru kepikiran terus. shitty.

perkara barangnya sih sudahlah diiklhlasin aja karena berarti Heroine sudah bukan rejeki saya lagi, dan barang tentu bukan rejeki orang yang ngambil karena itu bakal jadi dosa buat dia. *nikmatilah kesenangan duniawimu wahai pengambil Heroine!*. cuma ada beberapa masalah yang agak mengganggu pikiran. okeh dilist!

• dulu saya udah pernah menghilangkan 2 buah handphone. hapenya sih bukan hape mahal, tapi tetep aja udah menghilangkan hape dan DUA KALI. dan sekarang rekornya diperkuat dengan menghilangkan iPod. nice.
• masih menyangkut poin pertama. kalo ibu dan kakak sampe tau tragedi ini, keluhan yang keluar dari mereka pasti sepanjang jaman. iya iya saya sangat paham kalo saya pantas dimarahi atas keteledoran ini, tapi kalo mereka udah marah pasti kalimat yang sama akan terus diulang-ulang dan mengulang-ulang marahin saat saya udah tau kalo saya salah SANGAT TIDAK MEMBANTU PROSES PERBAIKAN DIRI. sumpah itu malah bakal jadi mood crusher dan bikin males cari penyelesaian. ini pasti karena mereka ga mau terima fakta kalo saya sudah dewasa dan ngerti mana yang benar atau salah.
• next, kalopun bisa dapet ganti Heroine secepatnya *amin*, ngulang masukin file dan ngulang play count di iPod itu sungguh ga menarik! ngebayanginnya pun males minta ampun. mana harus ngulang ngebuat playlist. argh. ga menarik ga menarik ga menarik super super ga menarik.

so far cuma itu masalah yang terpikirkan bakal muncul dari tragedi ini.

oh about the solution. rencananya begitu nyampe di bandung saya bakal langsung melesat ke BEC nyari iPod gantinya. sama sekali bukan berniat gaya hidup hedon, tapi saya hanya menerapkan prinsip “kalo barang yang serupa udah ada ga akan ada yang nyadar kalo barang yang asli ternyata ilang”.

*duitnya dari manaa???* pertanyaan ini yang akan saya jawab dengan bahagia. from my beloved little bro, Arjuna Mohikhan Ramitan. maksudnya bukan saya bahagia berhasil menguras duit adik saya -sungguh kejadian ini sangat saya sayangkan- melainkan saya sangat bahagia punya adik yang keren, dewasa, dan sangat baik hati seperti juna. *ini bukan gombalan antar saudara, i really think he is THAT good*.

jadi begini ceritanya. pas iPod ilang, hal yang pertama saya lakukan adalah berusaha mencari iPod tersebut, walaupun berakhir useless karena pasti yang ngambil udah kabur entah kemana. setelah menyerah, saya dan teman seperjalanan saya balik ke mobil dengan sayanya yang masih bisa tertawa-tawa sedangkan teman seperjalanan saya itu sebentar- sebentar ngeliatin saya dengan tatapansangatmenyesal karena gabisa bantu apa-apa *ini kalo diinget-inget cukup menghibur, hahaha*. sampe di mobil sebenernya saya bingung mau ngapain. mau sedih, ya emang ga sedih karena barangnya udah saya ikhlaskan ilang. mau ketawa-tawa kaya biasa, ga afdol juga loh baru ILANG IPOD GITU. jadi daripada senyum-senyum ga jelas kaya orang bego saya memutuskan ngasi tau juna tentang iPod ilang lewat sms *bukan ngasih tau kakak atau ibu*. isi smsnya begini, dengan sedikit unsur bahasa Palembang hehe :

“Ipod ayuk ilang. HAHA. jangan kasitau mama sm kakak.”

kira-kira ga lebih dari 30 detik setelah sms itu delivered hape saya langsung bunyi, juna nelpon. langsunglah dia tanya gimana bisa ilang, tapi suaranya sama sekali ga memberikan tekanan tambahan ke saya. malah bikin saya bisa cerita dengan lepas sambil ketawa ketawa. beneran gaya ngomongnya itu nenangin banget, juna jauuuuuuhhhhhhh lebih cocok jadi kakak atau pacar saya daripada jadi adek. keluar deh ni brother complexnya, hahaha. back to topic, pas lagi ngobrol di telpon itu saya tiba-tiba inget sesuatu. entah sejak kapan pokoknya udah lama, juna itu sangat rajin nyisihin uang jajannya buat ditabungin dan tabungan itu sangat dia jaga. saya pernah pengen pinjem tabungan juna *yang sekarang jumlahnya sudah jutaan! (woot)* itu buat mendukung rencana pembelian kamera DSLR tapi ga dibolehin sama dia. nah tadi itu, saya coba minta bantuan lagi, uang tabungannya mau saya pinjem buat nyari ganti iPod sebelum ibu atau kakak nanyain kemana itu barang. dan tanggapannya itu looooooh bikin tambah melting. dia dengan entengnya bilang boleh dan SAMA SEKALI GA NGUNGKIT SOAL GIMANA DUIT ITU BISA BALIK KE DIA LAGI. pas di rumah dia malah masih ngajakin saya becanda, ga menunjukkan SAMA SEKALI gelagat mencurigakan akan ngasi tau kakak atau ibu.

sumpah

ilang iPod ga bikin saya sedih. kena marah kakak atau ibu ga akan ngebuat saya nangis. tapi ngeliat juna ngorbanin tabungan yang udah dia tabung dari lama demi menebus kelakuan saya yang cuma bisa ngerepotin ini bener-bener bikin hati saya nyeri. you cannot imagine how much it meant to me, brother. i love you, i really really do.

oh one more thing. big thanks also to danny yang sudah mau minjemin iPodnya sebagai ganti Heroine untuk sementara, mau repot-repot nyariin orang yang jual iPod di kaskus, ikut pusing mikirin penyelesaian masalah ini, dan udah nyoba ngehibur saya biar ga sedih. makasih banyak, i owe you A WHOLE LOT too neighby.

1430 H

semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat semangat. SAYA SEDANG SEMANGAT!! hahaha kata “semangat” udah diulang-ulang sampe maknanya udah ga jelas lagi. dan by the way itu diketik semua loh ga pake copy paste. *HAHA GA PENTING DIKASIH TAU AL!*

hmm saya semangat menyambut lebaran dan hari-hari seminggu setelah lebaran karena banyaaak sekali kegiatan bermain yang sudah direncanakan dengan cukup matang. semoga jadi.

and for all of you who read this. MINAL AIDIN YAAA! please forgive everything that i’ve done wrong. i promise i will endeavor as hard as i can to repair all of the blunder that caused by me. selamat lebaran semuanya, semoga bahagia!

Akankah Aku Berpaling??

these last few days saya menjadi orang yang sangat banyak menghabiskan waktu dengan online dan dari waktu-waktu tersebut saya sempat melihat-lihat dan membandingkan beberapa web blogging. dan keberadaanmu terancam wahai wordpress!!! hahaha

tumblr really started to pull my interest. menarik gitu melihat quote-quote kecil disajikan dengan font besar, apalagi kalo quote-quote itu punya makna yang dalam. i’ve seen some outdrawing tumblr with those trembling quotes. it just inspire me to do exactly the same. i want people to be moved by my words.

but of course, whatever the mediator web i use will never matter if basically i am dumb with words.

anyway,  i read this not more than 1 hour ago from this site and it’s kind of sad, really. i just can’t hold myself not to re-posting it. really-really sad. is it because somehow i see the resemblance of myself from the girl in the picture? haha YOU HUBBUB ALEXA!!

this is it

i’m not crying, it’s just raining in my eyes…

Pissed

you see. i am a happy person. but i tell you guys. please do not play around with my matter. it is not that funny.

and moreover, the source of difficulty, is the one who really should not be laughing over the problem, especially when THE problem is related to many people, so you are not the only one who suffer the agony .

hahaha how human nature that want to make themselves feel better is always predictable. i really hope you are all blessed with the bliss folks! love you! (bigheart)

People We All Love

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Beautiful people DO NOT JUST HAPPEN.
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross-

Damn she's cute!

i can’t agree more. that is why i love beautiful people xD

(push) Pop!

ever felt like million words inside your brain busy popping itself insist to be spoken out? THAT IS WHAT I FEEL AT THIS TIME SPOKEN! wooow it is not like what people used to say “lonjakan emosi” because i AM calm like i will always ever be.

maybe i’m over excited?? hm that should do. but OVER EXCITED OF WHAT al? these last days of my life seems to be not THAT interesting. okay with this and that i still consider my life is the most interesting story ever butbutbut what the heck is going on in here that makes me act like a brainless lost girl?? YOU TELL ME YES YOU I’M TALKING TO YOU MONSIEUR!

huf okay no need to answer i’ll fix myself. hey i’m seriously can.

The Reminder

okay you fatty this is a reminder to remind me of reminding you that you don’t have to be reminding me all the time to remind you! *it’s confusing i know haha* what i’m going to do in this post is just quoting some words you gave to me in order to bring the past time back into present.

“I was checking some old files i stole from you and i couldn’t be sure if you aren’t the cutest mark i’ve ever known. I re-remember why i liked you. I suppose it’s true time had made me forget how to remember when i really could, would and wanted to say to you i’d do anything needed to be with you”

“Wake up and rise, flower. You got somebody’s heart in a lockdown.”

or the words of old time?

Taken from your Yahoo! Messenger status :

” He lives to tell his sister that she’s half an angel” – pointed to my brother

“Be sensible, i adore (your name here)’s cute shy grin”

“Hr kamis bisa meneriakkan ‘i adore your cute silly grin’. tp tujuannya ga ikut.” – this is when you want to watch the Peewee Gaskins show, but i can’t accompany you

or maybe tons of cute messages you sent to me

“i don’t mean to sound chessy and lame. it is what it is. so here goes : i just realized that i love you so much, lex.”

“hah? gw ga sadar akan hal itu. i often got stunned by the way you look, you know. you have that pretty adorable look that i rarely see. hmm lex, gw teringat kembali bahwa gw beruntung jadian sama lo.”

“then i guess i’m the one who got the fastest move to be with the girl who has the fastest fingers and happy for it.”

“i don’t love you, like i’ll do tomorrow”

kind of funny. just now i’m looking at the archive of our conversation at the last holiday and you can tell it still breaks me a lot seeing your words which really are cold-blooded. now now now, where’s the sweet sentence when i’m already at your grisp huh lad?

think it over. you don’t want to regret for the second time that you trapped with someone like me, do you?

*the others. please learn from him. i don’t want you to regret either*

2nd Post of The Day. Yeeay!

Hari ini adalah hari terproduktif sepanjang sejarah per-blog-an dari Alexandra Xiuzhen Ramitan! hmm mungkin gara-gara sekarang layout blog saya sudah lebih cerah ceria dan tidak terkesan sebagai blog dari orang yang lagi pengen bunuh diri  –” tapi tampaknya ini lebih ke fakta bahwa hari ini ga ada yang bisa dilakukan kecuali online hmm sungguh tidak produktif kemana semua itu rencana-rencana mulia mau belajar.

ya dan terpikir rencana-rencana baru seperti mencari game RPG yang bisa ditamatkan dalam satu liburan *yang ini sungguh sulit! game-game bagus sudah direbut oleh console lain selain PS2 huh*

atau mencari lagu-lagu bagus yang belum terjamah dan cuma dikit orang yang suka. kenapa harus dikit yang suka?? karena kalo udah banyak yang suka dan orang pada heboh pasti langsung jadi tidak menarik. haha egois gitu. kecuali ya kalo emang pada dasarnya lagu itu bagus pol. seperti apa ya contohnyaa. Life in Technicolor ii maybe. dan masih bingung kemana harus mencari referensi.

lalu lalu mengenai DSLR yang di-idamidamkan. pelan tapi pasti saya akan bilang ke mama karena saya sadar diri ga akan mampu beli sendiri. uang tabungan hasil keringat pas olimpiade sma *cihuy! somboooong hahaha* pun  sudah habis untuk membeli pasangan hidup sang HEROINE. sooo wish me luck folks!

What is it we wanna doooo..
now that I’m allowed to be alone with you?
Bir-thday girl, it’s your birthday
Wherever you wanna go
Now you’re old enough to go and see the “R”-rated show, now
“R”-rated show

Yo, she said she was a magazine editor named, Janine
Backstage in high-heels and painted-on, jeans
Probably had the most, devious eyes I’d ever sene
Told me she was twenty-two, she was only seventeen
She had sum’hin to hide she snuck in from out-side
and got, everybody gassed like the car I, drive
With all that grown-lady ass and my far-out, vibe
She said she came to see them Roots boys +Fall-Out+ live, but listen…

You see the girls look good, but they brains not ready
I talk to a woman, her mind is mo’, steady
Probably sum’hin in the way they designed, that’s mo’ steady
I just let you inside ’cause the line so, heavy
But I shoulda know, better ’cause now I feel like America’s
underbelly R. Kelly gutter smut peddlers
Internet predators, chat-room irregulars
This not my twist, you tryna send me to the therapist, miss

Now, she told me cheddar cheese grits, two tomato fried fish
‘Cause she heard it’s my dish, tryna be my sidekick
All the people all around thinkin she was my chick
Sayin, “Damn, the girl thick, but she ain’t no twenty-six”
Lookin at me like I’m up to sum’him on the funny tip
Like I ever really been the one to try the honey drip
It’s your birthday so let me know the gift you wanna get
In fact, blow out the candles on the cake and make a wish for me

They can’t really seem to look away
so they try, asking her to stay
Fake I.D., you won’t get turned away!
You look, lovely toniiiight…
Now you’re old enough to buy a gun
So many better ways of having fun
Right now I can only think of one…
You look lovely toniiiight…

The Roots feat. Patrick Stump – Birthday Girl

i just sing myself a birthday song. HAPPY belated 18th AL!

LOL

you guys are so funny. thank God i got my own world ;D